The Sound of Silence
by iristmr
Summary: 'I am Lana Arwen Lazar. And I never, ever, do what I'm told.'


**Hey there! So this is my first fanfic.. Not an excuse for horrible writing and grammar mistakes though. This is an idea I've had for a while, and I have no idea if it's a good one, but still. It's a bit OOC and AU. Hope you enjoy!**

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 ** _ONE-SHOT:_** _THE SOUND OF SILENCE_

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Music player in one hand, earbuds in the other. My loyal gun in it's holster. _Click_. Cigarette in the corner of my mouth, casually hanging between my dry lips. I drag my thumb across the spark wheel in short, but powerful, motions. I've always liked the sharp sound a lighter makes. emFlick. /emA flame pops out of the lighter and I light my cigarette. This is my last cigarette, I know that. And because I promised Sanjit. He hid them again, but he's not very original in his hiding places. I've noticed a pattern. Under the sloppy carpet, behind the never working heater, in the always empty mini fridge and in his pocket.

Carpet, heater, fridge, pocket.

This time it was time for pocket. Always his left pocket. Right now, he's asleep on one of the many old couches every room in this hotel has.

 _Clifftop Hotel, the oh so fancy and expensive place to stay_.

Free for me.

I gently drag my thumb across Sanjit's cheek, before kissing it, cigarette between the two fingers of my other hand. Invincible Sanjit, the boy who can't be vinced. And yes, until now I wasn't able to vince him. And yes, I didn't think anyone ever would be able to vince this boy.

I lean again the wall, blowing small clouds of smoke into the room. Why is everyone here so naïve? Everyone believes what they are told by anyone who they think has more power or knowledge than them. They'd believe me any second.

Because I am the _allmighty_ Healer.

Don't make me laugh.

Everyone believes the good things. Or at least, they want to believe them. They want them to be true _so_ badly, they trust everyone who promises to bring something good. They trusted Caine, believed in him. Well, see what he has become now.

What a sore loser.

What I told the Pack Leader was true. Humans can't be trusted. I know for sure, because I can't even trust myself.

Everyone always thought of me as tough as nails. Why? Because I survived a roll into a cliff? Because I've lived on my own for so long? Because I stood up to the Pack Leader? Because I've seen the darkest of them all? Yes. And they indeed made me look stronger. Scars, sweat and dirt decorate my body. I wanted to believe they made me stronger, but I've given up on believing. And sure as hell don't believe in things that aren't true.

Because deep inside of me,

my walls crumbled down,

and I crumbled down too.

But ofcourse, that's only inside me. Outside I'm what everyone believes I am. Or wants to believe I am./ppI couldn't care less./ppMy feet move across the room, as quickly and silent as possible. I toss my cigarette into the black trashcan that really needed to be emptied. Some of the ash floats down onto the ground, leaving black spots on the already dirty white carpet.

I grab my jacket and shove my hands deep into it's pockets. I close the door, my hand lingers hesitantly on the doorknob, and turn away. I walk through the hallway with my everlasting confidence, or what's left of it anyway. My worn shoes tap on the cold tile ground, leaving foot prints in the dust.

On my way to the infamous cliff, I plug the earbuds into my ears.

No one's afraid of the dark. No one's afraid of the darkness itself. You're afraid of what you can't see. One of your most important senses is shut off, which scares you. You're afraid of what could be creeping up on you. You're afraid of the things you can't see, the unexpected. Something you can't see coming. And after all, everyone's at least a little afraid of that.

But he, he gave darkness a whole new meaning. You wouldn't be afraid, no. You'd be terrified once you'd face it. The fearless wouldn't be fearless anymore, the brave wouldn't be brave anymore. The invincible wouldn't be invincible anymore.

I plug my earbuds into my ears and hit play.

 _''Hello darkness, my old friend.''_ I whisper along to the melody. I close my eyes. _Blink._

''Lana?'' His voice sounds kind and genuinenly concerned. He always looked out for me, even though we never talked a lot.

''Hey Fisherboy.'' I say, as I turn around to face him. His brown eyes look sad. Or dissapointed? I'm not sure. I raise one of my eyebrows.

''I'm not going to heal your small cuts, go ask someone else.''

''Lana, get the hell away from there.''

He knows.

''I am Lana Arwen Lazar.

The Lana is for Superman's girlfriend

the Arwen is for the elf princess in Lord of the Rings.

And I never

ever

what I'm told.''

As I let myself fall back, he reaches out to me. But he's too far away and I'm too determined to fall./ppAnd as broken as I laid lifelessly down there, that's how broken I had been feeling inside.

 _''Whispered in the sound of silence.''_


End file.
